i was gonna quit on trying to figure out how to blog on here because wow!!!neocities is complex!!! this thhing thing is the REAL DEAL. i took and passed a css class is yhe thing as well.. though not well enough to have remembered anything helpful..i like neocities though it's very intutive! learning slowly ...having fun :3 doing lots of site work
the prospect of journaling into a... mostly empty void with MINIMAL eyes on it is very nice! course I wouldn't get too like... TMI...thats for the super secret ansgty journaling. ill work on the site tomorrow.. probably but just sitting awake now, for a few days! i was struggling to get to bed wide awake and...... thinking, i thinkk I'm sorta over it now.. well the sleeping thing. my IRL isnt especially iinteresting so GOD help your soul if you scrounge through these. anyways.... things get better! if no ones told you that today. been focusing on art mostly lately and it's nice! keeps me from getting too stuck in my own head.
okay guyssss i was LOWKEY fibbing i did NOT work on the site today...i DID however do a couple AF attacks and a art trade! which is fun!...no site work unfortunately,,id love to figure out how to implement the status widget..i know you can use like iframe but iframe scares me. id also like to get an ART button going and then have a little..art gallery... cute right?? but HELLA ambitious. i might just cheese that on a linked carrd....unsure. i cant imagine too many people look at this but...hope eveyones day was good!!! uhhhh uhhh uhhh what else??????oh wait here take this isnt that cute?? the little image??...uou guys like kimya dawson?
i am someone who is highly paranoid and obsessive.. why?? not sure but it sucks, Everytime i feel bad or stuck on something I GET stuck, the idea im mass hated,my insignificance in like...the grand scheme of the world... some other third thing?? that sorta stuff! i know theres no reason to be stuck on things..frankly out of my hands and i do try, writing about it helps anyhow. yk its nice speaking its to an empty void of dubious attention! i dont need to be even slightly presentable. i dont knwow what id even seek to gain from yapping aimlessly, i mean i CANT talk about it all even if im the problem in most of my problems ever,cause..im not the center of the universe! my own maybe,but i dunno, having an outlet when it feels there is none is probably nice i realize. THOUGH in my... recent solitude talking to people now n then is nice!! but making myself my own most capable person is also nice...does that make sense is this.. anything
w3schools is a VERY good resource for site building since its html m what not,ive started cross reffing code dro from their image gallery tut...very helpful! i think its a diagnosable medical sorta term not to be thrown around but i feel like neurotcism resonates alot with me, maybe..idk i might be missing the mark. regardless i feel something's finny way up where,im impulsive and compulsive..the two ives!!! i feel ghat way anwyyas..i dunno its nothing i havent typed about to myself in lieu of things,not as jistifcations for conflicts but passive thoughts on my behaviors i guess! i do wonder what eyes read this sometimes,what people think of me, not the non specific site me but me on a personal level. it bothers me I guess! not knowing. i dont wager im allowed to ponder, or even if theres a point to, course ive thought about my own actions how they affect others..etc but how they feel after the fact..im not gonna know! it does .. suck,i suppose but its hardly anything i could fathomably change as of current, i do want otherwise,i mean it hurts, but..its selfish! i concede but when theres nothing i can do with the feelings EXCEPT dwell, writing is nice
there's not a whole lot i can say, not to noone but i wish i could. in an idealistic world!my melodramatic desperate moping would be seen and all would be mended by eveyone ive ever wronged or something but, that's hardly how anything works. That won't happen,and i knwo it won't course i do. I'm just getting it out to no one for my sake so i feel... better? no not better just, getting it out of my head. less aimless sad mentaliy ill typing Tommorow probably, sorry
honestly i don't feel good at all.i think i do and then all over again i just don't!! i hate feeling this way i hate how i am and i hate the things ive done. im not alone but i do just feel it, j do falk yo people sometimes and it's nice but its not enough its not the same. im horrible and alone and it WONT be the same again its over ive blown it. i hate feeling this way. even having like ArtFight or whatever as a distraction hasn't helped and i think im doing good and then im not then i just feel terrible again,i miss not feeling terrible and its hard to look forward to when j won't again
its disingenuous to say im alone i suppose, I do have people to talk to and it does help and then i remember what i no longer have and then i feel bad again. people come n go that life and frankly ill have to get over it,if im no longer wanted thats my own problem. it just doesnt feel real and i just dont want to have to feel it...uh site progress??? gallery code 1/4th done site contents as of current...50% me using it as a personal diary... not great
sorry back like 40 minutes later you are okay bro you WILL be fine its not that serious you were fine before and you WILL feel fine again 👍🏽 listen to kimya Dawson music and enjoy drawing again you fucking NERD!!!!!!!!!!!!! ily